Everything You Should Know Before Dating as a Single Mom

Dating has never been easier, and that’s true regardless of your age, preferences, or dependents. If you’re a single mother, however, it can be quite different, and there are some additional steps to take to ensure you get positive results when dating online.

Understanding the Modern Dating Landscape

The first thing you should know about the online dating landscape is that there are many different dating apps/sites, and most of them cater to specific preferences and needs. If you’re a single mother looking for a serious relationship, you should avoid apps where casual flings are the main goal. Instead, stick with Stir, a dating app for single parents where you can meet like-minded people and take your time making friends or forming romantic relationships.

Online Dating Pros & Cons for Single Mothers

Online dating is much more convenient for single mothers. You don’t need to worry about meeting new men in bars and restaurants and then wasting several hours on dates that don’t work out. You can peruse the profiles of prospective matches, engage in a conversation, and then decide if you want to go forward with a date or not.

You only commit when you’re ready, and if you’re not ready, just stay on the platform chatting to people and building your confidence.

The downside is that it’s a little more challenging for people who don’t spend a lot of time on apps or the internet. Fortunately, Stir was designed with speed, convenience, and simplicity in mind, so it won’t take long to get used to the app.

Stay Safe as a Single Mother on Dating Apps

If you’re a single partner, you may have some previous relationship experiences—some good, some bad. Use that experience going forward. Look out for red flags. Trust your gut. You could save yourself a lot of time and effort by paying attention to those signs.

Top Dating Rules for Single Mothers Seeking Love

There are a few unwritten rules for dating as a single mom. Follow these to ensure you have a safe and effective experience when using single-parent dating sites like Stir.

Rule 1: Prioritize Your Safety and Your Child’s

Don’t expose yourself to difficult and dangerous situations, and don’t introduce too many new partners to your child. Spend some time talking with matches online before meeting them in a public place when you’re ready. Only introduce them to your child when you know that you can trust them and think you may develop something special with them.

Rule 2: Be Honest About Your Parenting Role

Don’t hide the fact that you’re a parent. Tell all matches how many children you have and how they take priority in your life. They might not be interested in taking things further, but it’s better to get that out of the way early. If you’re connecting with matches through Stir, you’re more likely to find people who embrace your status, as they will likely have children to care for as well.

Rule 3: Establish Boundaries Early On

It’s important to set boundaries when it comes to partners and kids. They don’t decide when to meet your kids, you do. Take things at your own pace and establish boundaries that you’re comfortable with.

Rule 4: Keep Expectations Realistic

It’s going to be tough, and it may take some time to find someone special. So, keep your expectations in check. Don’t let your mind run away with you as you start planning marriage and thinking about bringing your two families together. Take it easy.

Rule 5: Don’t Compromise Your Parenting for a Relationship

Your kids will always be the most important thing in your life, and a partner should understand that. Eventually, they can meet your kids and get to know them. But you don’t need to think about any of that right now. Take it at your own pace. Enjoy yourself, and do what feels right.

How to Create the Perfect Online Dating Profile

Your dating profile means everything in this world. A good online dating profile will showcase you to all the single men and women out there. It also gives them valuable information, making it easier for them to think of an opening message and to break the ice when you eventually meet.

Here are a few dating tips for creating the perfect profile:

• Choose pictures that represent your life. Don’t just load up a batch of mirror selfies. Pictures that show you having fun, participating in hobbies, and generally enjoying yourself are perfect.
• Write about your interests and passions. It might feel like overkill, but it will appeal to matches who share the same interests as you, and that’s what you’re looking for.
• Ask a friend to review your profile. Share parts of your Stir profile with your family or friends with our sharing feature. Get a rating and ask them if there’s anything they would change. If they are male and have plenty of online dating experience, even better!
• Focus on the things that make you unique. Tell a funny anecdote. It’ll tell them more about you and is something they can base their opening message on.

Once you have nailed your online profile, you can start searching for matches. Use the filters to find people who fit your specific needs—interests, location, age—and start sending them messages. But don’t limit yourself to simple messages like “Hey” and “How are you?”. Read their profiles, find something interesting, craft the perfect first message, and then send it. The trick is to show them that you’ve read their profile and aren’t simply copying and pasting a funny message to all suitable singles in your area.

Obstacles Single Mothers Face Using Dating Sites

One of the biggest challenges that single mothers face when dating is finding the time to peruse dating sites, engage in conversations, and go on dates. They have their kids to think about, a family to manage, and work/school demands.

They might feel that they can’t spare a single hour, let alone a night, and they worry that constantly refusing dates, making excuses, and even canceling meetups due to emergencies and appointments is driving people away.

Some of the other struggles of being a single mom in the world of online dating include:

• Finding the Right Person: Single mothers usually don’t have time for flings with good-looking but otherwise incompatible people. They don’t want to introduce a succession of men into the lives of their kids, and they need someone who wants kids and is good with them.
• Trust Issues: Single mothers with a history of trauma usually have trust issues. It’s understandable, but prospective partners may struggle to understand those needs and misread passivity and standoffishness as disinterest.
• Introducing Dates to Kids: The idea of introducing a new man or woman to kids is daunting. What if they don’t get along? Will the tension cause problems? A new partner doesn’t just need to be compatible with the single mother, they also need to be compatible with their kids.
• Ask for Help: The struggles of being a single mom can weigh you down at times, especially when you introduce dating. It’s a lot. So, don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends and family members, whether it comes in the form of babysitting, emotional support, or advice regarding prospective dates.

Summary: Don’t Feel Obliged to Date as a Single Mom

All of the above assumes that you’re actually ready to start dating again. That’s not the only solution, though. If you’re happy living the single life, don’t need a relationship with a new man or woman, and don’t crave any of the companionship and intimacy it can bring, just keep doing what you’re doing. Dating as a single mom can be fun, but it can be tough as well, and sometimes you just want to enjoy your alone time and figure things out.

If you are keen to get things moving and find someone new, however, then sign up for a free Stir account and get the ball rolling!

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