“Should I be dating again?” is one of the many difficult questions that single parents ask themselves. How are you supposed to know when it’s a good time to date? And even if you feel like the time is right, what about your kids and the potential complications with your ex?
There is no straightforward timeline that dictates when you’re ready to find love, but there are a few questions you can ask yourself that may give you the answer.
Understand When You Are Ready to Date
Breakups are hard, especially if there are kids involved. Before you ask, “Should I be dating right now?” make sure you’ve actually gone through the healing process:
- Look Back on Past Relationships: One of the struggles of being a single mom and dad is accepting the breakdown of the relationship. Take a step back, accept that these things happen, and move on. If you experienced trauma, such as a bereavement, you will have a lot of healing to do and should seek comfort in friends, family members, or a therapist.
- The Role of Self-Love in Dating Readiness: You have to love yourself before you can think about loving someone else. It’s a cliché, but it’s true.
- Work-Life Balance: You probably shouldn’t be looking for new relationships if every minute of your time is taken up by your work and kids. Instead, take a step back and try to find a healthy balance, one that includes personal time. Once you do that, you can find a way to work dating into your schedule. A few minutes of searching and messaging a day and a few days of dates a month is all it takes.
Key Signs You’re Prepared for a New Relationship
If you notice any of the following signs, you may be ready to invite a new person into your life:
- You feel like sharing intimacy with someone would bring you joy
- You crave affection and intimacy with another person
- You’ve gotten past the trauma or difficulties of your previous relationship
- You feel more confident and are ready to find someone new
- The idea of meeting new people and forming new relationships excites you
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Join Stir TodayQuestions to Ask Yourself Before Dating Again
Quiz yourself on whether you’re ready to start dating. Here are a few important questions to ask yourself:
Am I Over My Ex?
Do some self-introspection. Look back over the relationship, consider the breakdown, and ponder on how it makes you feel and what, if any, feelings you have for your ex. A new relationship could help you to get over them, but it could also be a messy rebound.
Do I Really Need to Date Right Now?
Online dating can be daunting, and if you want to take things slowly, you may be deterred by the speed at which many couples meet. It doesn’t need to be that way, though. On Stir, you can take things at your own pace, and as you’re connecting with a community of single moms and dads, they will understand your situation. They’ve been where you are. Many will be in the same place right now. They will be happy to take things easy if that’s what you want.
There are also no rules that say you have to meet. If you just want to chat with single dads or moms, you can do that as well. You don’t have to meet them, and you definitely don’t have to agree to a relationship with them.
Are You Happy on Your Own?
There are many struggles of being a single mom, and loneliness can be one of them. Single mothers go all-in with their kids and friends, but those kids often demand so much of their time—along with work or school demands. This can be a difficult situation, and it will take a big change and a confidence boost to get back on track. It’s important to foster new and exciting relationships, ones that could get them back on track socially and romantically, but that’s not always what they want.
If, however, you have a good social life and have found a great work-life balance, you might be happy on your own. There’s no rule that says you need to be in a relationship, so if you’re happy as you are, stay that way!
What Am I Looking for in a Partner?
Do you know what you want, or are you just feeling blue? It’s normal to get lonely. It’s one of the many problems that single moms have. It’s also just as common in single dads. But if your only requirement is a warm body, you may be drawn into a relationship that wastes your time and further complicates your life. When you’re picky enough to actually create an ideal match, it suggests that you could be ready.
Do I Have the Time and Energy for a Relationship?
Do you have time to find prospective matches and arrange dates with a new partner? Do you have room for another person in your life? Think about how you spend your days, and then imagine making room to converse online with new people, arrange dates, and find the time to actually attend those dates. Don’t worry if you don’t have time right now. That’s something you can work on.
Take a break. Work on yourself and your schedule, and quiz yourself on your availability at a later date.
Do I Want to Date Someone?
Most of the time, if you’re asking yourself whether it’s a good time to date, it means you’re seriously thinking about it, and that could indicate that you’re ready.
Choosing the Right Online Platform: Stir
Whether you want a friendship, a casual fling, or a serious relationship, if you’re a single parent looking for connections, stick with Stir! Our platform can help you to form healthy relationships with like-minded people in your area. So, consider the signs that you’re ready to move on, and if you are, sign up for a Stir account!
Conclusion: Go With the Flow!
Whatever you decide, remember to always consider your own emotional and mental health. Yes, your kids are important, but you have needs as well, and if you’re not eating well, not sleeping, working too much, and not having your needs met, your ability to support your kids will decline.
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