Key Things to Know Before Dating a Single Mother

A Pew Research study found that the United States has the highest number of single mothers in the world, with over 15 million children living with their mothers. It’s a huge number, far from the stigmatized minority it’s often made out to be.

Single mothers bear the responsibility of raising kids on their own. They may have had bad experiences with previous relationships, and they are usually very independent. As a result, dating single mothers is very different from dating a single woman who doesn’t have kids.

Key Considerations When Being With a Single Mom

Dating women with kids requires a considered and empathetic approach, taking the following into consideration:

Prioritizing the Mom and Child Relationship

A single mom will always put her kids first. You shouldn’t expect anything less.

During those early whirlwind days of a relationship, couples often strive to spend as much time with one another as they can. When they’re not meeting up, they’re messaging each other. Single moms tend to be too busy for that. They have kids to wake up and feed in the morning. They have appointments to keep and emergencies to deal with.

You might be a little jealous that she isn’t spending as much time with you as you want to spend with her. But it’s not about you or the relationship—it’s a reflection of how busy her life is. That’s all. Try to see things from her perspective.

Respecting Boundaries and Responsibilities

Parenting as a single mom is complicated and exhausting. You don’t want to add to that. Don’t push her with questions about her ex and the breakdown of her relationship. Don’t ask her where the child’s father is, assuming he’s not on the scene, and while it’s good for you to meet her child eventually, you need to let her decide when the time is right.

Be Supportive

If she looks like she needs help, offer it. Single mothers are used to doing most things on their own. They are independent. As a result, they might be unwilling to accept your help, at least initially. Don’t force the help upon her, but let her know that you’ll be there as and when needed.

Most importantly, be a shoulder that she can cry on, a receptive friend that she can vent to. Strengthen your relationship by showing her that you can be a safe, stable, and reliable presence in her life.

Building a Strong Relationship With a Single Parent

You connect with a single mom through Stir. You go on a few dates, get to know her, and decide that you really like her. It could lead to something special. You have chemistry. So, how do you nurture a strong relationship from here? After all, if she loses trust in you or her kids hate you, the relationship could be over before it truly begins.

Here’s how to build a long-term relationship with a single mother:

• Practice Clear Communication: When you’re not happy about something, tell her, and make sure she reciprocates. It’s best to create a clear line of communication from the outset, as you don’t want to be left trying to read between the lines and playing the guessing game.
• Be Upfront and Honest: Don’t hide anything from her. Whether it’s a new relationship and you’re discussing relationship status and children, or it’s further down the line and you’re talking about getting married or starting a family, you should always be honest.
• Take it Slow: There is no need to rush things. Take it easy and let her dictate the pace. When you really like someone, you want things to move quickly. You want her to be in your life as much as possible. But if she has kids and had a bad experience with their dad, she’ll be worried about moving too quickly.
• Don’t Meet Her Kids Straightaway: Kids usually aren’t receptive to meeting a lot of new people. If she has been dating for a while and wants to introduce you quickly, there’s a good chance that you’re not the first. Take a step back, give it time, and ease your way in. She’s excited for her kids to meet you, but they likely won’t share the same enthusiasm.
• Let Her Discover Herself: She was in a relationship with certain patterns and routines and now she is finding a new normal. Give her some time and space to enjoy herself. Encourage her. Of course, if she has been single for a while or was never in a long-term relationship, she’s probably already gone through a transition.
• Make Your Meetings Fun for the Kids: No kid gets excited about being awkwardly introduced to their mother’s new friend over dinner. It’s forced and it’s weird. Instead, take the kids somewhere fun. Go out together as a family. That way, they will begin to associate you with positive experiences.
• Provide Emotional Support: Be there for her when she needs you. Encourage her to open up to you. Care about what she has to say. Everyone needs someone to lean on, and if she’s been through a difficult relationship and spends all of her time on her kids, she might not have that luxury.

Essential Qualities for a Partner of a Single Mom

If you’re thinking of dating a girl with kids, you’re probably wondering what this type of woman looks for in a man. Well, for the most part, they look for all the same things as a woman without kids. They want someone who they find attractive, emotionally mature, someone who is accountable and responsible, independent, someone who makes them laugh and smile. There needs to be a spark of attraction that piques their interest and enough chemistry to hold that interest.

There are other considerations, though.

Single moms place more of an emphasis on men they can trust, not only for their benefit but for the sake of their children, as well. They need to know that you’re a reliable person and a stable influence in the lives of their children. They may also focus more on the long-term, paying attention to green and red flags that could indicate how much of a future you have together.

They’re not necessarily looking for a quick fling that will add some excitement to their life. They want to know that you’ll still be good for them next year, five years from now, and even decades down the road.

Conclusion: Keeping the Spark Alive

As important as trust and reliability are when dating a woman with kids, she still has needs, and they need to be fulfilled. Don’t take your foot off the gas and relax into the relationship just because she seems good and the kids like you. Keep the spark alive. Be romantic. If you can do that while being reliable and trustworthy, she might fall in love with you.

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