The Key Things to Keep in Mind Before Dating a Single Mother

There are no strict rules for dating a single mom. Everyone is different. It all depends on their personal circumstances, how willing they are to let a new man in their life, how long they have been a single parent, and how old they are. But there are certainly some differences to dating an unattached woman without dependents. If this is your first time dating a single mother, we have this guide for you.

Understanding the World of Single Mom Dating

Whether you’ve found yourself in a relationship with a woman who has kids or you have children of your own and are looking for fellow single parents, there are a few things to keep in mind:

Embrace the Differences in Dating Dynamics

Single mothers are usually less willing to hit the nightclubs a couple of times a week and won’t be as receptive to being whisked away for a weekend break. She’s the head of her family, and those kids take up most of her time and attention.

One of the most important things to know before dating a single mom is that your dates may be shorter, more personal, and more relaxed. She also lives a busy life and is probably used to activities with her kids, so you don’t need to try as hard to impress her with creative dates (axe throwing, escape rooms, arcades). Free time comes at a premium for single mothers, and oftentimes, the thing they crave the most is a relaxing drink or meal with adult conversation.

Prioritize Respect for Her Time and Responsibilities

Whirlwind romances between unattached, childless couples are very different from relationships with single parents. A single woman may make you her priority. You won’t necessarily be the most important person in her life, but it can feel that way. She’ll want to spend all of her free time with you and maybe send you messages when she wakes and before she sleeps. It’s an exciting time. A single mother, however, has more demands on her time and also has her kids to think about.

It’s still exciting for her. She still wants to see you and spend time with you, but free time isn’t that easy to come by.

Rein in your expectations and acknowledge that while she’s still excited to be with you, the signs might not be obvious. You are still important to her—you wouldn’t have made it this far if that wasn’t the case. Try to see things from her perspective. Arrange short dates or schedule a walk in the park or a quick cup of coffee as opposed to a night in a bar.

Let Her Guide the Pace if She’s Newly Divorced or Separated

Single mothers may seem very standoffish and shy at first. They could also be forward—they know what they want, and they’re not afraid to get it. Where they sit between these two extremes will largely depend on how shy they are, when their relationship ended, and how experienced they are with dating. Either way, you should let them dictate the pace and only do what they are comfortable with.

Don’t feel like you need to take the lead if she is very shy. Encourage her, by all means—offer to arrange dates, take the initiative when chatting—but don’t pressure her into doing anything she might not want to do. Can’t read her true feelings? Ask her directly. A simple “Is this okay?” or “If you’re comfortable with that” can go a long way to putting her at ease.

Smart Strategies for Building a Relationship with a Single Mom

Let’s look at some quick dating tips for dating a single mom with kids:

• Patience is Key: Take It Slow. Don’t rush. She may have had bad experiences and will want to place a barrier between her dating life and her kids. If you move too quickly, you could scare her away.
• Set Expectations Early: Understand what she wants and weigh those desires against your own expectations. There could be a massive discrepancy, and as she can’t change, you need to be the one who adjusts your expectations.
• The Importance of Trustworthiness and Reliability: Create positive experiences. Be there for her. Over time, she will learn to trust you more and will see you as a reliable and positive influence in her life, the sort of man to build a family with.
• Support Her Emotionally: Pay attention to her low moods. Let her vent. Be a shoulder to cry on. Single mom dating is very tough, as is raising a family on your own, so she will face difficulties and needs to know that someone cares.

Practical Considerations When Dating a Single Mother

Once the wheels are in motion and you’re officially dating, you’ll have a better read on her needs. You’re sure you’re onto something great, she’s comfortable with you, and she might be ready to introduce you to her kids.

Let her do this in her own time, but encourage positive experiences by keeping initial meetings brief and not showing the kids that you’re a replacement for their father. They may have been through a lot, and while a positive role model can be good for them, it takes time to develop that relationship. Be their mother’s cool and interesting friend to begin with, and eventually, they’ll want you in their mother’s life.

If your new partner does anything you’re not comfortable with, such as maintaining occasional contact with her ex or not parenting as you would, just sit back and don’t judge. Accept her choices as she accepts yours.

The Do’s of Dating a Single Mom

The Don’ts of Dating a Single Mom

Conclusion: The Joy and Challenges of Dating a Single Mom

Now you have plenty of advice for dating a single mom, you’re ready to go! They can make a big difference in your life, and you can be an ever-present and reliable influence in hers.

If you’re yet to find your match, sign up for a Stir account and get started. Stir was made for single moms and dads looking to find friendship, love, and companionship. It’s a safe and secure platform full of users who understand the struggles of being a single mom and dad and are prepared to take their time. You can sign up for free today, meet someone special tonight, and start planning how to take things forward from there.

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